Joe Hawley

Joe Hawley

Current Member of Tally Hall
Date of Birth:	September 23, 1982 (40 as of 2022)
Hometown:	Detroit, MI
Current resident of:	Miami, FL
Other Names:	Joseph, Joey, J Hawls, wHaleJoey, Joey Joe, Joey Joe-Joe Junior Shabadu, sir Joseph Hawley, Invincible Joe

Joseph Robert Hawley, better known as Joe Hawley, is an American musical artist and member of the Michigan band Tally Hall.

Biography

Early Life

Joe Hawley went to Hickory Grove Elementary School and did well, even earning himself a Student of The Week certificate in 1988. Sometime before or during this, Joe would become a child actor with the Screen Actors Guild and appeared in commercials and even an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.^[1]^[2]

Joe then attended East Hills Middle School in 1994, and started studying at Lahser High School in 1997. In 2001, Joe attended the University of Michigan, where he studied screenwriting. His senior thesis was a short film entitled The Other Way.^[3]

In fall 2002, Joe Hawley founded the comedy troupe AnonyMous,^[4] who then went on to release a short film of their skits, entitled Sargasm^[5]. Some skits would later find their way into Tally Hall's Internet Show. Joe graduated from the University of Michigan with honors in 2005.^[6]

Joining Tally Hall

In Joe's words^[7]:

"Sophomore year in college, film school acquaintance Andrew Laurich and I were out videotaping a wedding. In the car on the way back, he played me a CD of his housemate’s high school band, called “ListedBlack.” I thought it was OK, but didn’t think much of it.
I had been to a few parties at their house, but the only person I really knew there for a while was Laurich. During Fall Semester 2002, Rob formally introduced himself to me (”I live with Andrew Laurich”) at a Musicology lecture. We began to get lunch after class semi-regularly, swapping e-mails and so forth. He sent me a few recordings of himself, Andrew Horowitz, and Zubin performing a small concert in the basement of the Frieze building, which used to be an academic facility on campus. I e-mailed him a couple of experimental tracks I had made over the summer for fun with my high school friend Andrew Kurtz: Covers of “Lady Madonna” by the Beatles and “Space Oddity” by David Bowie.
I was very surprised when Rob invited me to practice with his band one day; I had no intention of joining or committing to the project whatsoever. The idea of being in an actual band had never occurred to me. Steve Gallagher was invited around the same time (maybe a practice later or so), and Rob later told me that he thought I’d be an adequate lead guitarist based on some of the stuff I did in “Space Oddity.” I played a couple gigs with them (first as “Gallagher,” then as “540,” the address of their house) as a backup musician, but I didn’t really feel like part of the band until I suggested that we name it Tally Hall and Rob actually listened. He subsequently proposed it to the group (Tally Hall was one of many names I suggested via e-mail), and it was unanimous after some explaining to Andrew Horowitz, the only out-of-stater. I was basically Rob’s very inexperienced hired gun until we covered “Blinded By The Light” at the Blind Pig. Then Andrew wrote “Good Day,” I wrote “Ruler Of Everything,” etc."

On the 2006 website^[8], Joe's bio read thusly:

joe is the tally hall moviesmith. a member of SAG, AFTRA, and equity, joe has been fulfilling general showmanship since the tender age of six. the simpsons made fun of him for singing "high hopes" in a children's hospital commercial.
MAJOR: film/english MINOR: none COLONEL: popcorn SHOE SIZE: 11.5 US
TALLY HALL'S JOE HAWLEY FACT SHEET DETECTIVE DATABASE ARCHIVE: FACT: joe is the oldest tally. FACT: joe is compiling a cereal cookbook. FACT: joe was senior class president in high school. FACT: joe has had several tragic pets. among them:

1. EDMUND (1999-2001). pac-man frog. ate one of joe's other frogs, CHUCKY. referred to thereafter as CHEDMUND.

2. COTTON (1980-1995). maltese. blind and deaf with no teeth; wandered over to the neighborhood lake. surrounded by a circle of honking geese. finally dispatched by a snapping turtle.

3. DUFFY (2004-2005). betta. DOA upon returning from new jersey.
FACT: in first grade, joe developed a condition known as "nintendo thumb." FACT: joe appeared on "unsolved mysteries." FICTION: joe hates white people. FACT: joe is obsessed with The Infinite.* he's pondering it right now.
DID YOU KNOW? "ruler of everything" is a song about time.
TALLY HALL'S EMERGENCY JOE HAWLEY CHECKLIST: 1. double-jointed fingers? Y 2. part-native american? Y 4. three? N
"JOE HAWLEY" ©1982 BOB AND DARLINE HAWLEY

When Joe updated the website later on, he elaborated a bit, re-copyrighted himself, and took out one of his pet deaths^[9]. And it read like so:

joe is the humble tally hall moviesmith. a member of SAG, AFTRA, and equity, joe has been fulfilling general showmanship since the tender age of six. the simpsons made fun of him for singing "high hopes" in a children's hospital commercial.
MAJOR: film/english MINOR: none LIEUTENANT: dan SHOE SIZE: 11.5 US
TALLY HALL'S JOE HAWLEY FACT SHEET DETECTIVE DATABASE ARCHIVE: FACT: joe is the oldest tally. FACT: joe is compiling a cereal cookbook. FACT: joe was senior class president in high school. FACT: joe has had several tragic pets. among them:

1. EDMUND (1999-2001). pac-man frog. ate one of joe's other frogs, CHUCKY. referred to thereafter as CHEDMUND.

2. COTTON (1980-1995). maltese. blind and deaf with no teeth; wandered over to the neighborhood lake. surrounded by a circle of honking geese. finally dispatched by a snapping turtle.
FACT: in first grade, joe developed a condition known as "nintendo thumb." FACT: joe appeared on "unsolved mysteries." FICTION: joe hates white people. FACT: joe and jesus's dad share a first name. FACT: joe is obsessed with The Infinite.* he's pondering it right now.
DID YOU KNOW? "ruler of everything" is a song about time.
TALLY HALL'S EMERGENCY JOE HAWLEY CHECKLIST: 1. double-jointed fingers? Y 2. convoluted, cowlick-encroached scalp dressing? Y 3. part native american? Y 4. four? N 5. encyclobeatles joehawleyca? Y
if joe hawley persists, contact your local joe hawley control center immediately.
"JOE HAWLEY" ©1982 THE UNIVERSE

"Where's Joe?" Controversy of 2010

In March of 2010, Joe was not present for the tour with Jukebox The Ghost and Skybox. Casey Shea filled in for Joe (vocals and guitar), whilst wearing a black necktie. The band told the crowds that, due to unforeseen circumstances, Joe had to back out of the tour at the last minute, but nothing was said after. Curiously, in the months leading up to this surprise, Joe cleared out his Twitter posts and deleted (or well-hid) his Facebook page. The March tour went on, and more questions arose than answers. It was discovered that Joe was in fine health, but no one provided a clear explanation on his absence. Months went by, and in September of 2010, a show at Denison University occurred with Casey Shea in lieu of Joe, once again. This controversy began feeding the anger amongst fans who were already riled up over the delayed release of Good & Evil, which had its ETA pushed back multiple times.

October 2010 brought more curious changes to the as-yet-untold story of Joe Hawley and his involvement with the band. He moved to Nashville, Tennessee. The short story there was that his lease was up in Brooklyn, and a friend of his was moving to Nashville and invited Joe to stay with him. A few months later, he moved back to Michigan.

Joe, officially, addressed his "disappearance" on Tally Hall's June 15 Ustream, over a year after his original disappearance occurred. "My personal life and my professional life intersected in a way that may have been considered unsavory," he explained. "Given that conflict, I was unable to tour." No band members have given a further explanation to this statement.

Miracle Musical

Joe is one of the founding members of ミラクルミュージカル, AKA: Miracle Musical, spearheading the project and collaborating with fellow Tally Hall members, and producer Bora Karaca to create a full-length LP entitled: Hawaii: Part II, which was released on the 12th of December, 2012.

Joe Hawley Joe Hawley

On October 21st, 2016 Joe Hawley released a comedy hip-hop album entitled" Joe Hawley Joe Hawley, his first solo release under his given name. On April 16th 2019, Joe released a reversed version of the album, entitled: γɘlwɒH ɘoႱ γɘlwɒH ɘoႱ, this was done to avoid copyright issues.

Singles and Future Work

Since Joe Hawley Joe Hawley's release, Joe has released multiple singles. The first of these being Special, released on December 23rd 2017. Special features rapper Isaac Castor and Homestuck composer Marcy Nabors. Later on February 3rd 2018, he released Since I Don't Have You. This single featured hiddeninthesand.com creator Coz Baldwin and 2010 tour stand-in Casey Shea. The next single were two songs, Weird Bed &/or Yes Please and Yes Please &/or Weird Bed. However these were the same song with one having reversed vocals.

Joe's next single would be a song he released in 2011 on a Christmas compilation album, Sleigh Ride Invincibility Star. The single features artwork by Discord user tallybrawl with minor edits by Joe. The latest single he has released is Everything Means Nothing To Me, a cover of a Elliott Smith song. The instrumental was made in 2018 but wasn't released to streaming until May 10th 2021, along with a vocal version featuring India Valladares Lovelace IV. This version would be removed from streaming services for private reasons.

Joe has stated in a 2019 interview that his next album would likely be titled "Joe Hawley" and would be more acoustic in comparison to his last album, which was full of samples. Joe has also been working on a song with Andrew, but little has come of it publicly.^[10]

Personal Life

Joe owns three tortoises, Yoy Malloy, Ouija, and Sage of Hearts.^[11] Joe used to own a cat named Tanooki, and a rabbit named Toots.^[11]^[12] Tanooki went missing at a hotel in Miami, Florida, and Toots is assumed to be in good care.

Joe has talked about living a "quasi-homeless" lifestyle, including camping in hammocks.^[13] He also enjoys plant/fungi-based foraging, inner & outer space, sports, transportation, the internet, swimming, etc." As of 2022, Joe currently resides in the Detroit area.^[6]

Solo Work

As ミラクルミュージカル

Joe Hawley Joe Hawley

As Joe Hawley:

Joe Hawley Joe Hawley
Special (feat. Isaac Castor & Nabors)
Since I Don't Have You (ft. Coz Baldwin & Casey Shea)
Sleigh Ride Invincibility Star
Everything Means Nothing To Me (Instrumental)
Everything Means Nothing To Me (ft. India Valladares Lovelace IV) (removed)

Trivia

The song Joe is most proud of is Dream Sweet In Sea Major.^[13]
Joe had a Twitter account where he recorded his dreams.^[14] The username "wHaleJoey" is an anagram of Joe Hawley. The username was claimed by another user before, but the account is now currently owned by Joe.
Joe's first CDs was The Beatles Boxset, which he got from K-Mart in the third grade.^[15]
Joe is a pescatarian, a vegetarian that include seafood in their diet.^[16]
He is very good at Tetris.^[17]
Joe's favorite song from Marvin's Marvelous Mechanical Museum is Taken For A Ride.^[18]
Joe has never killed anyone "to his knowledge".
Joe's favorite part of living in Detroit is "the feeling of complete freedom." His least favorite is feeling "utterly restricted".^[2]
Since the beginning of Tally Hall, Joe has gone through 15 red ties.^[2]
His daily routine is to floss and brush. "I floss and brush, yo."^[2]
Joe took part in over 40 performances (plus rehearsals) as Eddie in Tom Dudzick's "Over the Tavern." ^[2]
In 2006, Joe recommended Magical Mystery Tour by The Beatles, Queen's Greatest Hits, Volume 1 & 2, Switched-On Bach by Wendy Carlos, Midnite Vultures by Beck, and Rachmaninoff plays Rachmaninoff on Amazon.com. His reasons for choosing these was "Just trust me."
Joe smoked marijuana from 1999 to 2007. ^[19]
If Joe could collaborate with any artist in history, he would collaborate with Bach, The Beatles, and oddly Benjamin Franklin.^[15]
In 2005, Joe completed a creative writing thesis titled "WHO SHOT UNCLE DAN? and other quandaries".^[20]
Part of Joe's home décor is named Stritchy, made out of googly eyes and a small bridge for a mouth. Despite being (seemingly) being an inanimate object, Stritchy both "sees", "knows",^[21] and has a catchphrase, "Big wall".^[22] Stritchy's birthday is July 3rd.^[23]